To memorialize my dearest father,
D.C. SUN
Pretend to be " I'm ok".Pretend to live as usual.Pretend to know you're somewhere else,and you must be better off than here and now. I feel so sorrowfullllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, but I'm not going to tell everybody.Just like you... You loved us so much, but you didn't leave sad words at your last moment. Maybe that's the way you tell what magnanious is, and how brave and wise you were.You taught us with deep love and unlimited patience, and your silence still gave us a lesson. Forgive me, I haven't yet learnt how to stop sighing when seasons change and holidays come. I'll try to quit to be so sensitive and sentimental... and try to save more tears this live if I still can. You're so generous to your families, and even stranger.Like you gave me Allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll....... but, what I ever gave you???I knew it's too late to tell you..... but thank you, millions x millions thanks.With my LOVE. It's a lots of happiness to be your daughter.
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Nice song... but I've been forced to go to bed now.....So~~~sing in my mind... and to be continued!! ^^ Way Back into Love
Artist:Haley Bennett
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh
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02.29 Still can't image what I will be on the next February 29th.If I want to know right now, I need to find a time machine. ^^ But I guess, I maybe become a little fat woman who carry two kids having dinner at night market.If you wonder why not go to restaurant; of course, this idea should be from my old darling.He always said he knew where to find the delicious food, all I need to do is just to follow him.Anyway, although his recommendation is not 100% to meet my taste, he is still right almost 75%. Like black chocolate, 75% is not so bitter than 100%. Why we need to find a ferfect one and make life so bitter?
Ha ha~~~ just nonsense talking at mid-night.
I think I'm sleepy now....
still wonding what I will be on 2/29, 2012?
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I don't want to hear again he is in hospital....Especially, I'm not in TW, and I can't do anything but only acting like I didn't cry over the phone. No wonder I dreamed him here every night, and he seems having trouble in my nightmare. In this white snowy city, I feel so cold in my heart....not my body.He is very diligent and selfless, and willing to pay for whole life to his family without asking any feedback.Why couldn't he just take a break for the other half life? It's so unfair...Don't make a decision, that is so cold and cruel!! >>>>> pray for ..................................................................................................................................... <<<<<<
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Wish Wish Wish I don't know how to make him feel better, I only know he is still very sick.Although he acts strong and lives well daily, I still know he just pretended. When he lay on bed for rest, I don't know what I supposedly to do.Maybe he just needed rest, but I think he maybe needs something else. I sincerely wish the expensive pill could save his life.Maybe just extend a few years or several months?? Like my wish, I made it when I was a little girl....I would like to save my own life for each ten years to my Mom and my DaddyLet them could live longer and we could spend more time to be all together. God know when people feel helpless or do need a miracle, they will talk to God.So do I.... I'm sorry I was so selfish...But God .... please make it come true.
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Treat or trick...treat O trick....t o t Halloweenies~ "action" I'm still in a tricky place.... that is, OFFICE!! And, same old story~~~endless work and waitING for me to finish. However, my brain fill up with "ghost faces"....what I meant is masks~ Actually, what I really meant is I wish I could be in a Halloween party and fool around with folks who wear masks. But all my imagination has been destroyed by him~~~~ Mozart Ok~~~ I keep working overtime for you. Please rest in peace, replay beautiful music, but play a trick no more . P.s. Don't ask why not working for Beethoven instead. Maybe Intel know.
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B U S Y.B U Y. B Y. B........BEE! Y......WHY?
I don't believe there is a happy ending in my life.
I think I'm out of my mind... Life is so short, why people sometimes waste time on somethhing wrong?I'm really tired of my small world.Like a mouse, runing on the circle. Looks busy, but it doesn't mean anything.No one appreciates your pathetic efforts.
Supposedly, I love what I'm doing and to do it. But I can't feel it anymore.
I'm not belong to here. The most difficult thing is not to say good bye, but why you have to say good bye? Good bye to ...Good bye to old me....Good bye to the one, you're saying bye to me.
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Waiting... it has been 5 hrs.But haven't show up, even until now. That's funny, why I care?Enough, I should stop thinking and writing off all thoughts from my brain.Keep telling myself it's just my illusion. This story is never ever start, so there is no happy ending as well. But why I still want to know if it really happen... Have you felt the same way?What if we miss what we thought.... Why I know I'll regret, but I still let a chance pass by.... Maybe it's fate that leads us to meet each other, then suddenly disappear as it came.
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Out of control... then to be very crazy. I can't tell you act like MAD or just SAD? Don't worry... everyone is normal human being.What I wonder is you felt terrible sorry later on or felt more comfortable afterwards. Whatever you feel, it's no sense to do so. However, however... maybe one day~~~ I will also make over reacting if I lose control.
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It wasn't right when you were saying good bye.It wasn't right when you left me behind.It wasn't right, you thought I'm supposedly alright. So, it isn't right, everything goes so fast. It isn't right when troubles just happen again.It isn't right when I thought there is always a way to slove.It isn't right I am the only one who cares about it. Then, I'm really lose my patience and faith. How do I know my efforts will mean something in my life?!How could I turn it to be just the way that I've kept thinking?!
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"Pending", I learnt this word from my current job. I recall it was a matter that our shipment was on hold due to quality issue, and US sales just wrote an email to check this pending issue. From that time, I knew if any problem couldn't be solved in time, it calls "pending". And, it seems like my situation in this company now, because ECS merges Uniwill which is going to have many changes in Dec. But we haven't got any detail now. All we could expect is our company will move farther. It's a long commute from my home to new location. Is there any solution for the issue, I believe it will have, but will take more time to commute daily for sure. Also any adjustment of salary? Ha ~ Ha~ Well, many questions have just popped up for a while, but so far all we could do is to keep waiting and waiting. I don't like this "pending" situation, but if the result is worse. Then pending the result, let me think through and take action on my own. .............................................................................................................time's out.
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Can't think too much at the moment....,,,want to say something, but no words. Especially, when I fell into a black hole, it seems no one could secure me. I'm questioning myself why the whole situation is worse than before;However, You never know what will happen in the future.
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