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To memorialize my dearest father,
 

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Nice song... but I've been forced to go to bed now.....
So~~~sing in my mind... and to be continued!! ^^ 

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02.29
 

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I don't want to hear again he is in hospital....
Especially, I'm not in TW, and I can't do anything but only acting like I didn't cry over the phone.

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Wish
 

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Treat or trick...treat O trick....t o t
 

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B U S Y.
B U Y.

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Waiting... it has been 5 hrs.
But haven't show up, even until now.

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Out of control... then to be very crazy.
I can't tell you act like MAD or just SAD?

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It wasn't right when you were saying good bye.
It wasn't right when you left me behind.

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"Pending", I learnt this word from my current job. I recall it was a matter that our shipment was on hold due to quality issue, and US sales just wrote an email to check this pending issue. From that time, I knew if any problem couldn't be solved in time, it calls "pending". And, it seems like my situation in this company now, because ECS merges Uniwill which is going to have many changes in Dec. But we haven't got any detail now. All we could expect is our company will move farther. It's a long commute from my home to new location. Is there any solution for the issue, I believe it will have, but will take more time to commute daily for sure. Also any adjustment of salary? Ha ~ Ha~ Well, many questions have just popped up for a while, but so far all we could do is to keep waiting and waiting. I don't like this "pending" situation, but if the result is worse. Then pending the result, let me think through and take action on my own.
.............................................................................................................time's out.
 

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Can't think too much at the moment....,,,want to say something, but no words.
 

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Great! I've kept my promise, that is, using English to write my blog. However, what's the meanings for? For improving English, I don't think my English is better now. For security issue, but actually no one visit my blog. ( Ha!) So, what's the purpose that I stick to it? Maybe I'm just fooling myself!! (Oops~ someone just come in the office and borrow the calculator from me.) Well, no matter what I did, now all break into pieces... I'm going to write in Chines anyway, but maybe I don't have time to do it. Or, postponed with some stupid reason, for example, my slowly typing in Chinese drives me crazy. My life goes so empty as usual, but fortunately I have good friends and families..., my father is healthier now, but he is still trying very hard to push me getting marry ASAP. I hope he can give up and set me free...I don't really like someone to control me, even my father.

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Temporarily, I have a feeling wanna kill somebody. It has been a long time that I haven't felt so explosive. Maybe I just can't get used to that some people are selfish. If I let it out of my mind, definitely, it's not a big problem. However, I still have a long way to be a Miss independently.  
 

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Understand. What a good word! "Under" and "stand" could make a story to tell how my life goes on. Let me explain why I said so. Lately, I found my EX-bf falls in love with a girl that I don't like (it was a long story, though.), I realize that there is nothing between us anymore. Our life is just moving on under the table. We don't need to communicate with each other, but we've already known that we've never and ever had any chance to get together. However, in the meantime, I finally can stand the fact, all by myself.  Lonely no more, because my heart belongs to no one but myself. I can do what I want without any interruption and concern. Maybe looks like I might be alone, but I'd be better off every day. Now, I understand, and you? (Are you curious again what I understand? ) 

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  • Jul 01 Fri 2005 19:58
  • Alone

Hardly breath. I feel so lonely. No one care what I said, and I don't care who really listen to me either. Actually, it's all his fault. I believe I was very evil to him in our previous life so that now he did the same thing to me. Don't image too many crazy thing in your brain. The guy didn't hurt me, he didn't do any bad thing to me. He just ignore me, that's it! Maybe I should leave. Get away to a farthest corner and forget all these meaningless feelings. What I look for is love I think. But I'm not sure what love it is, so I guess I can't have it. I don't like to be alone, but I always do. Why? When can I end of life like this?     

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Finding a job is not too difficult, but making a right decision is a big puzzle.  After half more a month, finally, I've settled down. These days I've been pushed to figure out what I want to do in the future. However, I have no idea even though I've chosen one of job opportunities. But I don't know I can handle it or not. Anyway, I'll see....

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